Stand down, Outraged of Welwyn Garden City, I said How To Do A Glow Job not blow job! To be honest, I’m almost forty and still couldn’t tell you how to do the latter that well, so the chances of me writing a post about it (or – urgh – making a video) are slim.
I mean I’m not saying I’m particularly bad at it (must ask) just that it’s a pretty obscure thing to do a step-by-step on and I can’t imagine a video tutorial would get past the censors on Youtube. Although pretty much everything else seems to get past them so maybe it would be worth a punt…
Anyway, it’s a Glow Job how-to not a Blow Job how-to and for this totally non-explicit filming session I was joined by the wonderful Lisa Caldognetto, who is a busy working London makeup artist. She has a signature skin prep routine that she calls The Glow Job and she kindly offered to demonstrate it. It’s 50% skincare and 50% makeup, really, when you break it down – a refreshing change from the usual heavy-on-the-base add-a-load-of-shimmery-highlight routine that you see so much of.
The Glow Job technique relies on adding the glow at the bottom of the pile – so creating a really glossy, plumped-out and dewy base layer and then adding minimal coverage so that the natural juiciness of the skin really shows through. The startling thing about this look is that there’s no foundation used – it relies on having relatively good skin to start with, admittedly, but it’s a nice reminder that you can go easy on the coverage and still look perfected and polished.
I’ve listed the products that Lisa used below the video pane, but please do watch the tutorial to see how Lisa applies each step – she has a lovely way of using Weleda’s Skin Food, for example, and a very light touch with her makeup brushes. It’s always so interesting to see session makeup artists at work, they’re a total mine of information.
You can find Lisa on Instagram @lisacaldognettomakeup
Caudalie Eixir*: http://bit.ly/2YLfNa7
Hada Labo Serum*: https://amzn.to/2sjCAgV
Weleda Skin Food*: http://bit.ly/2EcfmMf
Hollywood Flawless Filter Shade 3*: http://bit.ly/33jRMZd
My Kitco Flawless Face Small Brush 0.21 Charlotte Tilbury Magic Away Concealer 3*: http://bit.ly/2srPvgE
My Kitco Soft Concealing Brush 0.17 Chanel Soliel Tan de Chanel*: http://bit.ly/35v66yM
My Kitco Flawless Face Medium 0.22
Charlotte Tilbury Peachgasm Wand*: http://bit.ly/2rwzOFb
Charlotte Tilbury Flawless Finish powder*: http://bit.ly/35kDmZw
We need to talk about BBC’s drama Gold Digger, but also about a hot red lipstick. Weird mix, admittedly, but I got distracted halfway through recording my makeup video and ended up talking about Tom Hardy, morning breath and implausible storylines. Sorry about that.
Shall we get the makeup out of the way first? In the nicest possible way. Because I will return to red lipsticks in the next couple of weeks – it’s nearly Christmas, after all, which means that red lipstick posts are almost mandatory.
The one featured in the below video (which you must please watch) is the new Chanel Rouge Allure Lipstick in Rouge Spectaculaire, which is £35 here*. It’s luscious and has the special clickety-click packaging that I adore so much. (I wrote about this particular packaging years ago – a whole post on it! – here.)
Rouge Spectaculaire is not my usual choice of rouge – this one has a smidgen of pink to the mix, whereas normally I tend to err towards an orangey hue. The pink (or blue) tones do make your teeth whiter, unlike yellowish tones which make you look as though you’ve been chain-smoking Benson & Hedges for the past thirty years.
This fancy Chanel one is a punchy and true red and is perfect for kissing under the mistletoe, which is something that nobody does, ever. Which brings me smoothly to my Gold Digger rant, which is about another kissing situation that surely never happens and that is: kissing – heavy petting, even – first thing in the morning.
Who on earth smells good enough to kiss someone as soon as they wake up? If they do, I want to know their secret. Do they sleep with an extra strong mint slowly dissolving under their tongue? For most people, the first proper exhalation upon waking is one of pure evil. I can imagine that it’s the bodily equivalent of when the landing crew at an airport open up the airlock on the plane and release all of the noxious gases that have collected during the eight hour flight. Imagine!
Yes, in fact I’m going to run with that analogy – first breath upon waking is equivalent to airplane door opening after a long haul flight. You can almost see the horrendous green air puffing out towards the crew who wait on the other side. It’s a wonder they don’t pass out, or even melt.
So anyway, Gold Digger got my goat because of the morning kiss thing. I know we should suspend disbelief and all that, but really that’s something I refuse to budge on. Especially as both parties in said BBC drama had been drinking heavily the night before the kiss – I didn’t see any water or Alka Seltzer on the bedside tables and neither had apparently been to the bathroom to brush their teeth.
I know that it kills the romance, somewhat, thinking about the morning kiss but it’s all I can see when they do those scenes. I inwardly cringe. I reach towards the television with my outstretched claws in a vain attempt to separate them.
“For the love of God, don’t do it! You’ll never look at them in the same way again!”
But the morning kiss wasn’t my only problem with Gold Digger. It was the entirely questionable relationship as a whole. She, sixty years old, he mid-thirties. He looks like an M&S underpants model, with his manscaped beard and smooth chest, she looks – well, like Julia Ormond. Beautiful, slightly fragile, very obviously older than the bloke.
Which is not where the problem lies at all. Not with appearances. Because age gaps are fine, obviously. I mean who would have a problem with them in normal circumstances apart from nosey parkers and “Infuriateds of Maidenhead”? Each to their own, love knows no bounds, etc… except that in the case of the BBC’s drama there was absolutely nothing appealing about the young guy. Benjamin. There was no real love established – no behaviour on his part that would make anyone fall at his feet, let alone a wise, well-heeled, intelligent woman of means who had been hurt before.
It made no sense.
The whole thing continued to make no sense for the entire series, which meant that I had to listen to Mr AMR saying, repeatedly, “shall we just skip to the last episode?” He always suggests that when he thinks that a storyline is lacking. I always refuse because it’s a bit like cutting out the journey to somewhere vaguely important – I quite like to see where I’m going and how I’m getting there, rather than waking up in LAX wondering what the hell happened after five gins and a sleeping tablet.
People of Britain (and possibly others, if you have access to BBC iPlayer – I’m not sure how widely available it is): give your verdict on Gold Digger. I’m awarding it a 5/10 and one of those points is for the epic manor house in Devon that they used as a location. Swoon.
And a 5/10 might seem low, but I did enjoy the whole thing immensely. I kept thinking that there would be a great twist – it never came – or that Julia Ormond would chop all of her hair off with big scissors, like she did in Legends of the Fall, but the ending was rather like the long, slow, comedy deflating of a flatulent balloon.
The best character, I thought, was the lawyer son Patrick who was in equal parts selfish and highly-strung and amused me no end. I constantly saw him as being on the verge of having one of his forehead veins explode, which he would then blame on his mother’s new lover. Benjamin.
Before I leave you to comment with your own Gold Digger thoughts, I need to mention the silk shirt I bought from Boden a few weeks ago. It’s a class act, isn’t it? I thought that it was very Gucci with the striped trim and the floral print.
It was £110, but at the moment Boden have 30% off pretty much everything – see code on their homepage here*. So glad that I paid full price! I will revisit this shirt because it’s a cracker – flattering, drapes well and the sporty stripes make it rather interesting, I think. I’m wearing a UK10 but it does pull a little over the boobs, so I probably should have gone with a 12… I’m usually a UK12 so I’d say that the shirt runs ever so slightly on the large side.
Clarins Everlasting Youth Fluid Foundation in Shade 110, £35 here*: http://tidd.ly/acf849d6 NB, I love this foundation, it’s so dewy and natural, but I DO get some oiliness and slippage on the t-zone after a few hours!
Bare Minerals Endless Summer Bronzer in Warmth, £26 here*: http://bit.ly/2D2nxu8
Lanolips Scrubba Balm, £13 here*: http://bit.ly/2qpDoQY
Topshop Matte Blusher in Game Changer £10 here*: http://bit.ly/2HeBWFl
L’Oreal Unlimited Mascara, £7.69 here*: https://amzn.to/347bho0
Gold Digger, BBC: https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode…
Glossier Boy Brow in Blonde, £14 here*: http://bit.ly/2rc92RO
Chanel Rouge Allure Lipstick in Rouge Spectaculaire, £35 here*: http://tidd.ly/375484ff
Ah, there’s nothing that marks the passing of the seasons quite like one of my makeup bag videos. You could set your clock by them. (I’m being facetious, obviously; I never get these seasonal makeup videos out at the right time.)
This (un)timely makeup offering is for autumn, and I present it to you on a day that began with a thick carpet of frost all over the lawn. AKA, winter. When is winter, actually? I always thought that November, December and January were winter, but that would make February a spring month which would be absurd. So November is surely still in autumn. Surely?
I could have researched all of this before starting to write, but it will have given some of you something to rant about and others something to think about, so it’s all good. Let me just…type…into…Google… I can tell you that winter officially begins on: Sunday 22nd December.
I’m sorry, but surely that cannot be right. Wait. More Googling is obviously required here.
OK, so there are numerous dates and I seem to have gone down a mind-boggling rabbit hole of solstices, meteorological things and hemispheres. The astrological start date for winter is the 22nd of December, but the meteorological date is December 1st. I know which one I’m going with – I can’t bloody well keep saying that it’s autumn until a few days before Christmas! That goes against everything I know! Have these astrologers never heard of the Christmas carol In The Bleak Midwinter?
Anyway, here’s what’s in my makeup bag this autumn. If you’re after all-new autumn beauty launches and russety-toned eyeshadows then prepare to be disappointed; as usual this video has a mix of old favourites and new discoveries, but there’s no real theme. It’s just what I’ve genuinely been using – hence the “what’s in my makeup bag” title.
Products are listed below the video pane, but please do take the time to watch. And if you want to flick back through previous seasons, you can find all of the makeup bag videos here.
Charlotte Tilbury Flawless Filter 04*: https://bit.ly/2O3AM2V
Pro Glow shade 204*: https://amzn.to/328YvUt
BareMineralsUK Invisible Bronze in Tan*: http://bit.ly/2pUQ0zf
Hourglass Ambient Lighting Palette*: https://bit.ly/32EPPFA
Charlotte Tilbury Darling Palette*: http://bit.ly/2QdzqFw
Marc Jacobs HiLiner in RoCocoa*: http://bit.ly/2H4FklS
L’Oreal Unlimited Mascara*: https://amzn.to/34eEzAE
Bobbi Brown Pot Rouge in Fresh Melon*: http://bit.ly/2N6jO4K
BenefitCosmeticsUK Gimme Brow in shade 1*: http://bit.ly/31e9c8z
Lanolips 101 Ointment*: http://bit.ly/34VWQTI
Beauty Pie Lip Liner Wondergel in Vanilla Nude*: http://bit.ly/31hmvVu
Zoeva Foundation Brush
Zoeva Shadow Brush
Real Techniques XS Point Brush – no longer available in the UK! BOOOOOOO!