Earlier this year I wrote about the fact that Christmas isn’t actually a holiday, not really, and especially not if you have young kids. Or any kind of dependents. Kids don’t stop being kids just because it’s the most wonderful time of the year. Toddlers don’t give a shit if your usual pre-kids Christmas routine was waking up at 10am, opening the “main” present, having Buck’s Fizz in bed and then watching Home Alone three times before maybe drinking more Buck’s Fizz in the bath and then merrily doing all the wrong things to the turkey.

(Do I brine it? Bernard! Which method are we doing? BERNARD! Stop messing with that bloody thermostat and read me the instructions – are we doing Nigella or Jamie? Brine or bacon?)

Even if you don’t have dependents Christmas isn’t much of a rest; you spend the few days between finishing work and Christmas Day trying to buy all of the tat for people that you haven’t bought throughout December (though it’s all on sale by then so that’s good – it’s to make up for the stratospheric stress levels that last-minute shopping bring on) and then you have to read up about which turkey-prep method you need to plump for. That’s if you’re staying at home – chances are you’ve got to do the “Grand Tour” and sleep on five different couches as you travel around the country visiting all of the friends and family members who won’t travel because they have dependents.

Anyway, it is a wonderful time of year, if you’re lucky enough (sadly, for many people it’s abysmal) and for me, having kids has brought Christmas back to life somewhat. I feel as though I see the magic in it again – the lights, the excitement, the cold walks, the jazzy music, the films – and I want to fully appreciate it and not see it as a stress.

So this year I am going to try and at least have one type of rest – a work rest! I’m deleting all of my social media apps from my iPhone so that I can’t look at them, post on them or otherwise engage with them. I’m not deleting the accounts – that would be stupid, given my job – I’m just pressing pause until January.

And (boo hoo) this will be my last post for a couple of weeks here, too, though please be filled with joy at the fact that I have loads of brilliant things lined up for you in January. I’m itching to edit them but mustn’t – if I do start editing, I won’t be able to tie up my last bits of admin and then I’ll be doing that on Monday 23rd and my whole “no work” plan will be made a mockery of. No plan likes to be mocked.

So, farewell for now my festive friends: wishing you an absolute blinder of a Christmas with minimal familial fallout and lots of brined/bacon’d turkey. (Which method do you do? I didn’t brine or bacon last year and it tasted just the same as any other year. I’m sure it’s all a nonsense. Thoughts below.)

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and – as always – a heartfelt thanks to all of you for reading, commenting and messaging. I appreciate each and every one!

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Now that we’ve got cracking with the gift guides, I can fully take stock of just how bloody late I am with them again. The sensible person would compile them in early November and have them ready and waiting for the last weeks of the month. Not I. Here I sit, binge-eating Haribo Starmix at some kind of Godforsaken hour (9.45pm), buying as many things as I write about because of these damn sales!

Anyway: women’s gift guide. Basically stuff I’d be thrilled with, so I should really rename it Ruth’s Fantasy Wishlist, though I already have some of the things and have probably featured them in the past. Creature of habit.

Let’s start with the warm and cosy – I don’t know many who wouldn’t want some soft cashmere to see them through the winter. I just bought this dreamboat of a jumper from Boden here*:

It was £150 but Boden currently have 30% off almost everything (see here*) so I’m off to buy a spare one. That’s how lovely it is!

I’d also highly recommend their cashmere socks, here*, which come in gorgeous colourways and last infinitely longer than some of the socks from other brands. They are £45.

That’s the feet sorted then, and for the hands we have these bright and cheery Johnstons of Elgin Fingerless Gloves*. Currently £36 at Liberty* because Liberty (at time of writing) have a huge Christmas event running with up to 30% off lots of stock. Well worth a check seeing as though they always have such beautiful and interesting gifts!

You can shop at Liberty here* – no code necessary.

You can now buy selected items from the wonderful Coco & Wolf at Liberty – they have 20% off here* – including the gorgeous Liberty Print Scalloped bedspreads. For the full range (their silk pillowcases would make the most indulgent homeware gift!) go to the website here.

Want some Liberty Print but short of cash? I’m inexplicably drawn to this little mouse pin cushion. I don’t even sew. It’s £8.76 here*.

Right, people: we’re moving onto the quickfire round because otherwise I won’t fit in all of the present ideas I’ve got lined up! It’s so tempting to explain all of my ideas, in case you think I’m bonkers, but I’m just going to have to take the risk.

Liberty Tana Lawn Wash Bag, £20 here*

Marc de Champagne Truffles, large box because anything else is just wrong; £23 here*.

Chloe Embellished Sunglasses, £436 here* – pretty special. Try not to sit on them.

Aquazzura Heels, £660 here* – pretty special. Try not to break your neck in them.

I wanted to post those iconic Christian Louboutin bow-back sandals but they’ve sold out – they’d almost be worth breaking your neck for! Instead here’s a totally extra lipstick from the same hallowed shoemaker – £70 here*. You could have someone’s eye out with that!

Whilst we’re on envy-inducing lipsticks; Pat McGrath Matt Trance lipstick, £35 here*. Brilliant, brilliant. 

Fornasetti Gold Wall Plate – a piece of modern art and absolutely not for cutting up grapes on! £230 here*.

Seletti Love Edition Mouse Lamp, £68 here*. I have this in the original and it’s so cool – this one looks as though it’s had a Banksy makeover.

Made In India, £13 here* for the keen cook. Meera Sodha writes the most delectable cookbooks, Fresh is one of my most-used.

Palette: The Beauty Bible for Women of Colour, £17.49 here*. Packed full of amazing, insightful beauty knowledge. A book that needed to be written.

Shell Seat Pads, £107 here*. Turn any garden seat into a pre-Raphaelite resting place thanks to brilliant luxury brand Garden Glory.

Ultimate GBBO attire: a Nathalie Lete Helena apron. £30 here*.

Zoeva Rose Gold Brush Set, £70 here* – pretty much all of the brushes you’ll ever need. (Stay tuned for a best brush set post coming up soon!)

Farrow & Ball Colour Consultation, from £195 here. I did this a few weeks ago and it was just great. Very helpful and also a lot of fun. One for the indecisive or just those who love decorating!

If you can’t stretch to that then the F&B books are the next best thing – read my post here.

Chanel La Creme Main, £45 here*. This can’t fail to delight – the packaging alone is an absolute triumph. Although…

Bastide Figue d’Ete hand cream has some serious French Painter Oil Paint Tube vibes going on and the cream smells out of this world – £18 here*.

For the makeup junkie, how about Charlotte Tilbury’s Filmstar Bronze & Glow, Limited Edition with brush, £60 here*? This is the benchmark product when it comes to megawatt glow and contour…

Willowberry Mini Skincare Set, £39 here – I love this tiny, independent British brand. Here’s a chance to give it a try!

If it’s a total body treat you’re after then give the gift of ultimate relaxation – oils don’t really get any more effective than the ones from Aromatherapy Associates. The Deep Relax is a perennial favourite, just a capful into a warm bath is totally transforming. £49 here*.

Quirky but luxurious, something svelte and striking for the hair. The Silken Favours Silk Printed Headband is £70 here. Click onto the website and try not to fall in love with the incredible shirts…

Gucci Bloom fragrance, from £45 here*. A trusty crowd-pleaser, included here because the packaging is so spot on. A gift in itself.

Although if you really want to impress then things don’t get much more decadent than McQueen Pure Perfume, £285 here*. Deep, dark and sexy, it’s a riot of nighttime blooms that you won’t smell on many others. A Vampire’s Wife would wear this, surely?

Talking of Vampire’s Wife: it’s also the hot new(ish) brand that everyone wants to be wearing. So covetable. So darkly sexy. So incredibly expensive. One day, my friends, one day… You can find Vampire’s Wife here*. The dress pictured is $2.45m here*.

And on the subject of incredibly expensive things; if you’re after the ultimate cool leather jacket then Acne’s Velocite has been top pick of the bunch for a few years now. I’m hoping that it’s my birthday2019/Christmas2019/birthday2010/Christmas2020/birthday2012 combined present. Find it here* – it’s just £1.2 million plus postage. Goes with everything though, so that’s good.

Not so flush? See this coat at Hush*. Has all the feels but you won’t need to remortgage.

Yes I’ve featured these lovely Alex Monroe alphabet necklaces before, but I think that they make perfect gifts. They look luxurious but don’t cost quite the earth. £108 here* – also in silver.

And for a teeny bit of special beauty? MOR Soapette in a tin – £5.99 here*. Can’t get enough of these. Strictly speaking they should be in stocking fillers, but I might not get around to writing about those at this rate!

Ooph. Champagne Lurex heels, anyone? I’ve always been a fan of the Fern court shoes from LK Bennett but they’ve excelled themselves this year with these sparkly gems. Get 25% off here* with the code BLACK25.

And one last little naughty treat, in case someone is looking to spoil you completely. I had to include this Gucci Flora wallet, it’s just so lush. Don’t look at the price, just try and be very, very good from now until Christmas. It’s online here*.

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I’m going to start with the men’s gift guide, this year, so that it doesn’t come across as an afterthought. Don’t you think that a lot of the time men’s gift guides are just far less exciting and inspirational than the women’s ones? I find them so difficult to put together – but then I find buying things for Mr AMR quite complicated, so I suppose it’s not surprising. What I think he might like is always so far from the truth – in my mind, he wants a swanky new Tom Ford wallet, in reality he is in his element going around the garden with his battery-operated leaf-blower.

True story.

So here are some ideas for men’s Christmas presents. I’ve tried to cover all bases and price points but let it be known that it is hard not to be drawn into featuring the usual suspects. A shaving set. Novelty socks. Some funky-looking vodka. A soap that looks like a turd…

OK, the first thing I want to talk about is something called Masterclass. Have you seen this advertised? It’s so good. It’s basically a series of video masterclasses from leaders in their fields – so you can have, for example, a film-making masterclass with Jodie Foster, makeup lessons with Bobbi Brown, beat-making classes with Timbaland and high-powered, motivational business classes with some of the world’s highest achievers. It’s such an excellent gift idea and a full access pass, which gives you access to all of the lessons from violin-playing to haute cuisine-cooking, is £170. And it’s currently buy one get one free. One for them, one for you. What’s not to like?

I think that this is the perfect gift whether you’re happy in your career and just want to broaden your interests or dying for some inspiration to turn your life around. I’ve already joined and I think it’s absolutely genius – I’ll be reviewing soon, so watch this space!

Masterclass, £170 for 12 months here.

Mr AMR wouldn’t forgive me if I didn’t talk about his battery-powered leaf-blower, so here it is: the Ego Power Plus blower. Mr AMR would also like it to be known that all of the Ego garden tools are very good, including the lawnmower. You have a rechargeable battery pack that fits into all of them and is interchangeable, so you can go from mowing to blowing at the blink of an eye. He bought all of his many, many, many tools from Ego Power Plus here.

Note that the backpack blower makes whoever’s wearing it look like a character from Ghostbusters. Which is a comedy bonus.

Something else from Mr AMR’s list of favourites; the Samsung Frame TV. In all fairness, this would be on my own favourites list because it has completely changed the look of my living room. I think we have the older model now, but they look pretty much the same; it’s a TV with a wooden bezel (frame) that sits absolutely flush with the wall so that it looks like a gallery-hung picture. The screen displays a picture whenever the TV is off and it looks completely realistic. I can’t recommend this TV enough, especially if you – like me – absolutely detest the look of televisions on walls.

Find the Frame at John Lewis here* – from £999.

One last thing from Mr AMR before we move on to gifting pastures new: the Bed of Nails, which has been featured many times in the past. It’s one of his most prized possessions, this mat-with-spikes and he slides it out from its hiding place beneath the bed whenever he has a headache or can’t sleep properly. I have no idea whether it actually cures headaches or helps you to sleep properly but he swears by it for just about every ailment and sense of discomfort. He says that he enjoys the pain of the spikes – “it’s a nice pain”. Worrying.

Find the Bed of Nails online at Cult Beauty here* – it’s an unusual – but hopefully very useful – present.

Oh, OK, one more idea from Mr AMR because he did spend ages lying in the bath writing his list to help me out… Brace yourselves for this one people… Third on his list? The Bose Frames Audio Sunglasses*. Sunglasses that play your audio through the sunglasses. Sounds weird, doesn’t it? It is totally and utterly weird. But Mr AMR has tried them and can vouch that they do indeed play music via the material of the sunglasses and that it somehow magically ends up inside your ears. Who knows how? Who cares? Surely this is the future! Buy these and he can wear them when he’s riding his hoverboard to work…

Bose Frames are £199 at Amazon here*.

Whilst we’re Back to the Future, let’s take a look at the Apple Air Pods Pro, £249 from Apple here*. Currently with free engraving, which perhaps makes it a bit more of a thoughtful, personalised gift – tech always feels quite sterile to me! Anyway, these noise-cancelling, fully-immersive in-ear pods are the absolute bees knees – even if they do make it look as though you’re talking to yourself when you take a call on them…

If Apple’s enthusiastic pricing is a little too – er – steep, then plump for these noise-cancelling headphones from Sony. They’re comfy, effective and are a comparative snip at £79. Find them at Amazon here*.

I’ve been dying to include this in my gift guides: I, Robot: How To Be A Footballer 2, by Peter Crouch. Perhaps an unusual choice for someone who has absolutely zero interest in football or footballers, but I read an extract in The Times a while back and it was really quite excellent. I bought it straight away and it’s on my book pile waiting to be started. Yes, I’m going to read a book about football. The world must be ending. Find Peter Crouch’s second bestseller on Amazon here*.

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The Tiger Who Came To Tea: this’ll keep his pens in order. I love these pen pots from Quail – they also do egg cups and vases, all of them slightly kitsch and offbeat. Find the tiger one at Liberty here* – it’s £25.

Beatles Monopoly – the classic Christmas game gets a rock ‘n’ roll update. £45 at Selfridges here*.

Can’t find the perfect trainers for him? Why not take my very risky and potentially quite dangerous route and customise him a pair? This is probably the worst suggestion I’m ever going to make and you’ll have to forgive me in advance – sometimes unlimited choice isn’t the best thing… Haha. Go crazy, go wild, he’ll hate them but he can’t take them back! If only you could have your face printed on them… £85 at Nike here*.

A Single Man by Christopher Isherwood; a classic, chic stocking filler with a gorgeous vintage feel. This’ll keep him occupied over the holidays, when he’s not leaf-blowing or puking over your customised trainer design. £6.47 at Amazon here*.

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